What happened?
I swear our house is infested with changelings. Maybe those old fairy tales of fairies stealing human babies and replacing them with fey ones isn't so far off the truth. Maybe there really are house gremlins who are pulling pranks on us. Whoever it is, STOP!
Stop switching our sweet, loving, and funny toddler with this defiant, challenging and willful teenager in toddler clothing. It really must stop.
Our little guy is really pushing his limits and boundaries lately, although not consistently. He seems content to condense his attempts at driving us over the edge to just random days. Take today for instance. He has been pure sweetness and endearment. We've played, giggled, eaten well, and even been helpful! Yes this is my sweet Little Man. Let's put that into contrast to the little boy I had on Monday. The one who decided in the check out line that he wanted candy. I explained, "No candy, you have candy at home and maybe you can have some after lunch." Now this sounds fairly reasonable to me, to you?
I heard this loud "CANDY!" Turning around there was Little Man with candy in each hand. Firmly I said "NO candy." He then crossed his arms, candy still in hand, and just stared at me. The look spoke of "Come and get it old man, you know that you won't dare take it from me. I challenge you to a show down." Now what is a Dad to do, a store full of women watching me, judging me, waiting to see the man go down. Ok it was just a few but still it seemed like a lot.
I sat down the grocery bags and started walking the few feet over to Little Man. The sound of spurs clanging against the ground could be faintly heard as tumble weed rolled a long. Without a word or a give away twitch I sprang.... snatched the candy out and had it put away before he could even notice. He looked up at me in shock and a tiny bit of awe. How had I done that so fast, you could see it in his eyes. Calmly and sternly I repeated "NO candy." He gave out a small yell of protest but he knew it. One day he may be faster and wiser, he may be in the position to chose Shady Pines vs Luxuryville Home for Loved Parents but today I had won. Foiled he held my hand as we picked up our bags and headed to our car.
Some of the struggles have been like this; quick showdowns that don't escalade beyond a mild protest. We have had a few that really have pushed us to our edges. When he threw a fit at a restaurant and Hubby took him outside for a time out. Little Man decided he was going to one up us and started ripping up flowers from the planter he was sitting next to while SCEAMING!!!
Most days we handle it well, I'll admit there have been moments that I could have done better. It seems like there is a lot of toddlers who scream but WOW! Little Man is a screamer and of course we still struggle with hitting. He hits out of frustration and when he gets over excited. Neither of which are times he is easily redirected. We try but sometimes it seems like an uphill battle.
There is also something we've noticed over the last few weeks. We aren't sure if it is something we are doing or if it is normal toddler behavior. Little Man can be really well behaved and happy all day, like today for example, and we can be having an enjoyable time reading, playing, coloring, etc. When whoever is working that day gets home Little Man goes into brat mode. At first Hubby thought he was doing something to encite this behavior but we slowly realized that Little Man does it for/to both of us. We aren't sure if he is angry at us for leaving in the morning or what but it really makes walking the door a little less pleasant. We are still excited to come home and see him but just knowing that it is going to involve this new process makes you brace yourself. Have other kids done this? Right now we are trying to redirect and not reward his less than desirable behavior. Any hints on when it might work?
Stop switching our sweet, loving, and funny toddler with this defiant, challenging and willful teenager in toddler clothing. It really must stop.
Our little guy is really pushing his limits and boundaries lately, although not consistently. He seems content to condense his attempts at driving us over the edge to just random days. Take today for instance. He has been pure sweetness and endearment. We've played, giggled, eaten well, and even been helpful! Yes this is my sweet Little Man. Let's put that into contrast to the little boy I had on Monday. The one who decided in the check out line that he wanted candy. I explained, "No candy, you have candy at home and maybe you can have some after lunch." Now this sounds fairly reasonable to me, to you?
I heard this loud "CANDY!" Turning around there was Little Man with candy in each hand. Firmly I said "NO candy." He then crossed his arms, candy still in hand, and just stared at me. The look spoke of "Come and get it old man, you know that you won't dare take it from me. I challenge you to a show down." Now what is a Dad to do, a store full of women watching me, judging me, waiting to see the man go down. Ok it was just a few but still it seemed like a lot.
I sat down the grocery bags and started walking the few feet over to Little Man. The sound of spurs clanging against the ground could be faintly heard as tumble weed rolled a long. Without a word or a give away twitch I sprang.... snatched the candy out and had it put away before he could even notice. He looked up at me in shock and a tiny bit of awe. How had I done that so fast, you could see it in his eyes. Calmly and sternly I repeated "NO candy." He gave out a small yell of protest but he knew it. One day he may be faster and wiser, he may be in the position to chose Shady Pines vs Luxuryville Home for Loved Parents but today I had won. Foiled he held my hand as we picked up our bags and headed to our car.
Some of the struggles have been like this; quick showdowns that don't escalade beyond a mild protest. We have had a few that really have pushed us to our edges. When he threw a fit at a restaurant and Hubby took him outside for a time out. Little Man decided he was going to one up us and started ripping up flowers from the planter he was sitting next to while SCEAMING!!!
Most days we handle it well, I'll admit there have been moments that I could have done better. It seems like there is a lot of toddlers who scream but WOW! Little Man is a screamer and of course we still struggle with hitting. He hits out of frustration and when he gets over excited. Neither of which are times he is easily redirected. We try but sometimes it seems like an uphill battle.
There is also something we've noticed over the last few weeks. We aren't sure if it is something we are doing or if it is normal toddler behavior. Little Man can be really well behaved and happy all day, like today for example, and we can be having an enjoyable time reading, playing, coloring, etc. When whoever is working that day gets home Little Man goes into brat mode. At first Hubby thought he was doing something to encite this behavior but we slowly realized that Little Man does it for/to both of us. We aren't sure if he is angry at us for leaving in the morning or what but it really makes walking the door a little less pleasant. We are still excited to come home and see him but just knowing that it is going to involve this new process makes you brace yourself. Have other kids done this? Right now we are trying to redirect and not reward his less than desirable behavior. Any hints on when it might work?
posted by Bacchus | 4:39 PM
4 Comments:
he sounds very normal!
and you sound like you are doing the right things - my only thought is perhaps have a ritual in place for when the missing parent comes home?
just to help with that transition.
Congratulations!
You are the proud parent of a two-year-old.
Did anyone remember to tell you that the "terrible twos" tend to start somewhere around 18-20 months? The good news is that a lot of kids are out of them by 30 months.
Problem is he is 30 months.
What they all said.
You did the right thing by standing firm even if it means walking out on a cart of groceries.
Oh, the terrible two's!!
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